Humorous Smilies

[Charon]

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

[Charon]

   

    this is an actual modelling show. at what type of event would wear this garb?

[Roses]

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[Charon]

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

[Roses]

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[Charon]

those are great roses!

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

[willie33]

Funny! Thank you.  

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[Roses]

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[IceWizard]

I lost my watch at a party recently and I saw it about an hour later when I noticed this guy standing on it while arguing with a young woman and making her cry.  

I was so infuriated, I dashed over to him and punched in the face, knocking him out.

Nobody makes a woman cry like that while I"m around.

No sir, not on my watch !!

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I got home this afternoon to find an envelope on my front door mat.

Printed on the front it says 'Do Not Bend'

I'm wondering how in the heck am I supposed to pick it up without bending .

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A young cowboy sitting in a saloon one Saturday night recognised an elderly man standing at the bar, who in his day, had been the fastest gun in the West.

The cowboy took a place next to the old-timer, bought him a drink and told him of his great ambition to be a great shot....

Could you give me some tips?' he asked.

The old man said, 'Well, for one thing, you're wearing your gun too high - tie the holster a little lower down on your leg.'

'Will that make me a better gunfighter?'

'Sure will'

the young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his .44 and shot the bow tie off the piano player.

'That's terrific!' said the cowboy. 'Got any more tips?'

'Yep,' said the old man. 'Cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer hits it – that’ll give you a smoother draw'

'Will that make me a better gunfighter?' asked the young man.

'You bet it will,' said the old-timer.

The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur, and then shot a cufflink off the piano player.

'Wow!' exclaimed the cowboy 'I'm learnin' somethin' here. Got any more tips?'

The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. 'See that axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it.'

The young man smeared some of the grease on the barrel of his gun.

'No,' said the old-timer, 'I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and all..'

'Will that make me a better gunfighter?' asked the young man.

'Nope,' said the old-timer, 'but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the piano, he's gonna shove that gun up your butt, and it won't hurt as much.

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Just came back from the senior citizen center.....

I go there daily....

I love it there....

No I don't go to help out...

I go around to the Alzheimers patients telling them they owe me 20 bucks.

[willie33]

Those were all hilarious, guys and girls...

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