Humorous Smilies

[IceWizard]

Mother Superior was on her way to late morning prayers when she passed two novices just leaving early morning prayers on their way to classes.

As she passed the young ladies, Mother Superior said, "Good morning, sisters."

The novices replied, "Good morning, Mother Superior, may God be with you."

But after they had passed, Mother Superior heard one say to the other, "I think she got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."

This startled Mother Superior, but she chose not to pursue the issue. A little further down the hall, Mother Superior passed two older sisters who had been teaching at the convent for several years.

She greeted them with, "Good morning, Sister Martha, Sister Jessica, may God give you the wisdom for our students today.."

"Good morning, Mother Superior. Thank you and may God be with you."

But again after passing, Mother Superior overheard, "She got up on the wrong side of the bed today."

Baffled, she started to wonder if she had spoken harshly or with an irritated look on her face. She vowed to be more pleasant.

Looking down the hall, Mother Superior saw retired Sister Mary approaching, step by step, with her walker.

As Sister Mary was rather deaf, Mother Superior had plenty of time to arrange a pleasant smile on her face before greeting Sister Mary.

"Good morning, Sister Mary, I'm so happy to see you up and about. I pray God watches over you today."

"Ah, good morning, Mother Superior. I see you got up on the wrong sideof the bed this morning."

Mother Superior was floored! "Sister Mary, what have I done wrong? I have tried to be pleasant but three times already today people have said that about me."

Sister Mary stopped her walker and faced Mother Superior.

"Oh, don't take it personally, Mother Superior. It's just that you're wearing Father Murphy's slippers."

---

An avid golfer was in a car accident and lost his arm.

He was taken to hospital and just before he was put under, the surgeon dropped in to see him "I have some good news and some bad news," says the surgeon. "The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!"

"Oh God, no!" cries the man "My golfing is over! Please Doc what's the good news?

"The good news is I have another one to replace it with, but it's a woman's arm. I'll need your permission before I go ahead with the transplant."

"Go for it doc" says the man. "As long as I can play golf again." The operation went well and a year later the man was out on the golf course when he bumped into the surgeon.

"Hi, how's the new arm?" asks the surgeon.

"Just great," says the businessman. "I'm playing the best golf of my life. My new arm has a much finer touch and my putting has really improved."

"Not only that," continued the golfer "my handwriting has improved, I've learned how to sew my own clothes and I've even taken up painting landscapes in water colours."

"Unbelievable!" said the surgeon "I'm so glad to hear the transplant was such a great success. Are you having any side effects?"

"Well, there is just one problem" said the golfer.




"Every time I get an erection I also get a splitting headache!!"