The Date
Joe took his blind date to the carnival.
"What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked
Joe.
"I want to get weighed," she said.
They ambled over to the weight guesser. He
guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale;
it read 117 and she won a prize.
Next the couple went on the ferris wheel.
When the ride was over, Joe again asked
Kim what she would like to do.
"I want to get weighed," she said.
Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight and Joe lost his dollar. The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next.
"I want to get weighed, "she responded.
By this time, Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.
Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the
blind date, "How'd it go?"
Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy."
**************************
The Doctor's Convention!
There's a bunch of doctors gathered together at a doctor's convention one night.
A male doctor notices a female doctor from
across the room.
The female doctor notices also and the next
thing you know, they're sitting next to each
other by the end of dinner.
After dinner, the male asks the woman if she wants to go up to his hotel room.
''Sure,'' the woman says. ''Let me go wash
my hands first.''
After she washes her hands, they have sex.
After they are finished, she washes her
hands again.
This is really starting to annoy the male doctor so he says, ''You know, you must be a surgeon, because you keep washing your hands.
'' Angry at this remark, the woman says, ''Well, you must be an anesthesiologist, because I didn't feel a thing!''
************************
Happy 100th Birthday Grandma!
The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place.
Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she
could write notes when she needed to
communicate.
After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma
started leaning off to the right, so some
family members grabbed her, straightened
her up, and stuffed pillows on her right.
A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the family grabbed her and
stuffed pillows on her left.
Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed her, then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up.
A nephew who arrived late came running up
to Grandma and said, "Hi Grandma, you're
looking good! How are they treating you?"
Grandma took out her little notepad and
slowly wrote a note to the nephew,
"They won't let me fart!!"
**********************
CanYou Believe It?
The General went out to find that none of his G.I.s were there.
One finally ran up, panting heavily.
"Sorry, sir! I can explain, you see I had a date and it ran a little late. I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I'm here."
The General was very skeptical about this
explanation, but at least he was here so he
let the G.I. go.
Moments later, eight more G.I.s came up to the General panting and he asked them why they were late.
"Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I'm here."
The General eyed them, feeling very skeptical, but since he let the first guy go, he let them go, too.
A ninth G.I. jogged up to the General, panting heavily.
"Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but..."
"Let me guess," the General interrupted, "it
broke down."
"No," said the G.I., "there were so many dead horses in the road, it took forever to get around them!!"
Joe took his blind date to the carnival.
"What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked
Joe.
"I want to get weighed," she said.
They ambled over to the weight guesser. He
guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale;
it read 117 and she won a prize.
Next the couple went on the ferris wheel.
When the ride was over, Joe again asked
Kim what she would like to do.
"I want to get weighed," she said.
Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight and Joe lost his dollar. The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next.
"I want to get weighed, "she responded.
By this time, Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.
Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the
blind date, "How'd it go?"
Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy."
**************************
The Doctor's Convention!
There's a bunch of doctors gathered together at a doctor's convention one night.
A male doctor notices a female doctor from
across the room.
The female doctor notices also and the next
thing you know, they're sitting next to each
other by the end of dinner.
After dinner, the male asks the woman if she wants to go up to his hotel room.
''Sure,'' the woman says. ''Let me go wash
my hands first.''
After she washes her hands, they have sex.
After they are finished, she washes her
hands again.
This is really starting to annoy the male doctor so he says, ''You know, you must be a surgeon, because you keep washing your hands.
'' Angry at this remark, the woman says, ''Well, you must be an anesthesiologist, because I didn't feel a thing!''
************************
Happy 100th Birthday Grandma!
The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place.
Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she
could write notes when she needed to
communicate.
After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma
started leaning off to the right, so some
family members grabbed her, straightened
her up, and stuffed pillows on her right.
A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the family grabbed her and
stuffed pillows on her left.
Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed her, then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up.
A nephew who arrived late came running up
to Grandma and said, "Hi Grandma, you're
looking good! How are they treating you?"
Grandma took out her little notepad and
slowly wrote a note to the nephew,
"They won't let me fart!!"
**********************
CanYou Believe It?
The General went out to find that none of his G.I.s were there.
One finally ran up, panting heavily.
"Sorry, sir! I can explain, you see I had a date and it ran a little late. I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I'm here."
The General was very skeptical about this
explanation, but at least he was here so he
let the G.I. go.
Moments later, eight more G.I.s came up to the General panting and he asked them why they were late.
"Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I'm here."
The General eyed them, feeling very skeptical, but since he let the first guy go, he let them go, too.
A ninth G.I. jogged up to the General, panting heavily.
"Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but..."
"Let me guess," the General interrupted, "it
broke down."
"No," said the G.I., "there were so many dead horses in the road, it took forever to get around them!!"
Semper Fidelis
![[Image: SyAa0qj.png]](https://i.imgur.com/SyAa0qj.png)
USMC
USMC
Nemo me impune lacessit