Why is everybody picking only on blond women? There are plenty of blond men who fall into the "dumb blond" category as well.
Here are some examples:
A blonde man shouts frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.
"No!" he shouts, "this is her husband!"
---------------------------------
A blonde man is in jail;
the guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
"Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself", the blonde replies.
"The rope should be around your neck" says the guard.
"I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe".
------------------------------------
An Italian tourist asks a blonde man:
"Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"
To which the blond man replies: "If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."
--------------------------------------
Two blonde men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.
One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"
The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."
------------------------------------
A woman phoned her blond male neighbor and said: "Close your curtains the next time you and your wife are having sex. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday!"
The blonde man replied: "Well the joke's on all of you, because I wasn't even at home yesterday!”
For those not 'versed' with FaceBook
For those of my generation who do not use and cannot comprehend why Facebook exists:
I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles.
Therefore, every day I walk down the street and tell passersby what I have eaten, how I feel at the moment, what I have done the night before, what I will do later, and with whom.
I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and of me exercising, getting a haircut, taking things apart in my living room, standing in front of landmarks, driving around town, having lunch, and doing what anybody and everybody does every day.
I also listen to their conversations, give them the "thumbs up" and tell them I like them.
And it works just like Facebook!
I already have four people following me:
Two police officers, a private investigator, and a psychiatrist.
Can the resession get much worse!?
Our stocks have crashed, we get 2% on any fixed deposits, our Superannuation is stuffed..
Obama and Biden are running round looking up their arses for things to tax/save for the upcoming budget.
Woe, woe, this recession is hitting everybody really hard.
Things couldn’t be much worse:
Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.
CEOs are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you have to call them and ask if they meant you or them.
McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!
A truckload of Germans was caught sneaking into Syria.
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
And, finally...
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc.,
I called the Suicide Hotline:
I got a call centre in Iran, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck....
Here are some examples:
A blonde man shouts frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.
"No!" he shouts, "this is her husband!"
---------------------------------
A blonde man is in jail;
the guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
"Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself", the blonde replies.
"The rope should be around your neck" says the guard.
"I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe".
------------------------------------
An Italian tourist asks a blonde man:
"Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"
To which the blond man replies: "If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."
--------------------------------------
Two blonde men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.
One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"
The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."
------------------------------------
A woman phoned her blond male neighbor and said: "Close your curtains the next time you and your wife are having sex. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday!"
The blonde man replied: "Well the joke's on all of you, because I wasn't even at home yesterday!”
For those not 'versed' with FaceBook
For those of my generation who do not use and cannot comprehend why Facebook exists:
I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles.
Therefore, every day I walk down the street and tell passersby what I have eaten, how I feel at the moment, what I have done the night before, what I will do later, and with whom.
I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and of me exercising, getting a haircut, taking things apart in my living room, standing in front of landmarks, driving around town, having lunch, and doing what anybody and everybody does every day.
I also listen to their conversations, give them the "thumbs up" and tell them I like them.
And it works just like Facebook!
I already have four people following me:
Two police officers, a private investigator, and a psychiatrist.
Can the resession get much worse!?
Our stocks have crashed, we get 2% on any fixed deposits, our Superannuation is stuffed..
Obama and Biden are running round looking up their arses for things to tax/save for the upcoming budget.
Woe, woe, this recession is hitting everybody really hard.
Things couldn’t be much worse:
Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.
CEOs are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you have to call them and ask if they meant you or them.
McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!
A truckload of Germans was caught sneaking into Syria.
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
And, finally...
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc.,
I called the Suicide Hotline:
I got a call centre in Iran, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck....
Semper Fidelis
![[Image: SyAa0qj.png]](https://i.imgur.com/SyAa0qj.png)
USMC
USMC
Nemo me impune lacessit