Humorous Smilies

[IceWizard]

 
 ARAPROSDOKIANS

(figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence is unexpected.)

Winston Churchill loved them.



Some examples:

1.   Where there's a will, I want to be in it. 

2.   Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 

3.   If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

4.   War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

5    Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.  Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

6.   They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

7.   To steal ideas from someone is plagiarism.  To steal from many is called research.

8.   In filling in an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency', notify:  I put 'DOCTOR.'

9.    I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

10.   Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they look sexy.

11.   Behind every successful man is his woman.  Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

12.   A clear conscience is the sign of a bad memory.

13.   I used to be indecisive.  Now I'm not so sure.

14.   Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. Nor is there any future in it.

15.   Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

16.   Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.

17.   Finally: I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one now.

And my personal favorite: I am not arguing with you, I am explaining why you are wrong.

---

[center]"My Proudest Accomplishment"[/center]
[center] [/center]
[center][/center]
[center] [/center]
[center]Quote of the day.   No ... of the week! Wait!   Make that a month.   Actually, it qualifies as quote of the year.
No!  DECADE. Wait a minute.  It's the greatest quote EVER!

"My accomplishments as Secretary of State? Well, I'm glad you asked! My proudest accomplishment in which I take the most pride, mostly because of the opposition it faced early on, you know… the remnants of prior situations and mind-sets that were too narrowly focused in a manner whereby they may have overlooked the bigger picture, and we didn't do that, and I'm proud of that. Very proud. I would say that's A major accomplishment."

- Hillary Clinton 11 March 2014

Could someone please tell me what she just said?[/center][/quote]

---

Read it carefully. She said,

"Absoultely Nothing" and basically meant:



[center][/center]