Humorous Smilies

[IceWizard]

A Guy Walks into a Bar

A guy goes into a bar in Louisiana where there is a robot bartender.

The robot asks, “What will you have?

The guy replies, “Whiskey.”

The robot brings back his drink and asks, “What’s your IQ?”

The guy says, “168.”

The robot continues to talk about physics, space exploration, and medical technology.

After the guy leaves and the more he thinks about it, the more curious he gets, so he decides to go back.

The robot asks, “What’s your drink?"

The guy answers, “Whiskey.”

The robot returns with his drink and asks, “What’s your IQ?”

The man replies, “100.”

The robot talks about Nascar, Budweiser, the Yankees, and girls.

The man finishes his drink, leaves, but is so interested in his “experiment” that he decides to try again.

He enters the bar and, as usual, the robot asks him what he want to drink.

The man replies, “Whiskey.”

The robot brings the drink and asks, “What’s your IQ?”

The man answers, “50.”

The robot leans in real close and asks,
“So . . . are . . . you people . . . still happy . . . with Obama?”

(or ... more up-to-date ..... "Are you people still voting for Jeb Bush?")

---

Move That Car

On a bitterly cold winter morning a husband
and wife were listening to the radio during
breakfast. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the
even-numbered side of the street, so the snow plows can get through.

The wife said, "Have to be responsible" as
she ran out the door and moved her car.

The husband silently refocused on his
newspaper and orange juice and shook his
head.

The following morning, with the winter storm
still in full force, they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are
expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today.
You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snow plows can get through.

The wife went out and moved her car again.

The husband, ruffles his sports page, "harrumphs" , and shakes his head.

The next morning again they are having
breakfast, when the radio announcer says,
"We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow
today. You must park on the ...."

Then the electric power went out.

The wife was very upset, and with a worried
look on her face she said, "I don't know
what to do. Which side of the street do I
need to park on so the snow plows can get
through?"

Then with the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married exhibit, the husband replied, "Now honey,

Why don't you just leave the car in the
garage this time!"