Humorous Smilies

[IceWizard]

Shanghai Lockdown

So as the covid related lockdown continues the residents are
getting increasingly angry and upset about their inability to
leave their homes, and have taken to yelling and
singing out their windows.

Xi Jinping wants to see what all the the fuss is about so he
goes to Shanghai and makes his way to a public square
surrounded by apartment buildings and hears all the
complaining and singing. He asks the residents,
"What is your problem? What do you want?"

The residents yell back,
"We can't leave our homes!
We haven't been able to go shopping for weeks
We want supplies!"

Soon all the residents join in, chanting,
"We want supplies!, We want supplies!"

Xi hears this and says,
"Okay! You want supplies?
Tomorrow I promise you will get supplies here!"

The next day the residents wake up and see nothing
in the square except a giant cake.

The residents look at it for a while until some of them
work up the nerve to leave their apartments and
go to the square.

The look at the crate apprehensively and finally approach,
when they get close enough Xi Jinping jumps out of the cake and yells
"SUPPLIES!!!"


*****


Helpful hint #420


If you're experiencing joint pain,
you're probably holding the lit end.


*****


My local drug dealer started dressing up as a
Jehovah’s Witness so he wouldn’t arouse suspicion.
He got arrested after the police
saw people actually letting him in.


*****


An artist goes on stage to receive an award..

I wanna thank my legs,
for supporting me.

My arms,
for always being by my side.

My fingers,
because I can always count on them.

And finally sidewalks,
for keeping me off the street.