Humorous Smilies

[IceWizard]

HaHaHa!!!

---

A mother and her young inquisitive son were flying
South West Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago.

The son (who had been looking out the window)
turned to his mother and asked,
"lf dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby cats,
why don't planes have baby planes?"

The mother (who couldn't think of an answer)
told her son to ask the flight attendant.

So the boy dutifully asked the flight attendant.

"If dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby cats,
why don't planes have baby planes?"

The flight attendant responded,
"Did your mother tell you to ask me that?"

The little boy admitted that she did.

"Well, then. tell your mother that there are no baby planes,
because South West always pulls out
on time. Now, let your mother explain that to you."


**********


Two naturalists were observing wildlife in the forests of Canada.

One said:
"Did you see that bear over there?"

"No,"
replied the second.
"I didn’t."

A few minutes later the first naturalist said:
"Did you just see that eagle flying overhead?"

"No, I missed that,"
said the second.

Five minutes later, the first naturalist said:
"Did you see that moose go behind those trees?"

"Damn!"
said the second.
"I missed that, too!"

"You really ought to keep your eyes open,"
said the first. "That way you won’t keep missing things."

A few minutes later, the first naturalist said:
"Hey, did you see that?"

"As a matter of fact I did,"
snapped the second man,
determined not to be ridiculed further,
"Indeed, I probably spotted it before you!"

"Oh, yeah?"
said the first naturalist.
"So why did you step in it?"


**********


A popular pub installed a new robotic bartender that was
programmed to strike up a conversation according to the customer’s IQ.

So when a guy came in for a drink, the robot asked him:
"What’s your IQ?"

The man replied:
"130."

The robot then proceeded to make conversation about
nuclear physics, astronomy and advanced math.

The customer was impressed.

Then another guy came in for a drink and the robot asked him:
"What’s your IQ?"

The man responded:
"120."

So the robot started talking about Football ,
dirt bikes and the current Olympics.

The customer thought it was really cool.

Then a third guy came in to the bar and,
as before, the robot asked him:
"What’s your IQ?"

The man replied:
"80."

The robot said:
"So, how are things down in Perth these days?"


**********


The guy next to me on the train pulled out a photo of his wife and said
"She's beautiful, isn't she?"

I said
"If you think SHE'S beautiful, you should see MY girlfriend, mate".

He said
"Why? Is she a stunner?"

I said
"No, she's an optician".


**********


You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone?
That's common sense leaving your body.


**********