Humorous Smilies

[IceWizard]

A guy noticed how many girls I had
circling around me wherever I went.

Right before I left for the day he came up to me and asked,
"Man, what's your secret to get all the girls?"

I said,
"It's simple, I just put a potato in my swim trunks."

He said,
"You think it would work for me?"

I said,
"Try it , it'll work out fine."

The next weekend, he was there before I got there
and again he came up and told me that he had tried 
the "potato" trick, but all the girls went running away
from him.

I looked him over and said,
"Try putting the potato in the front of your swim trunks."


**********


How do Millennials fireproof their homes?
By never owning one.


**********


Kid going to his first day of school, he looks worried,
his dad asks him
"What's wrong?"

Nervous, the kid asks,
"How long do I have to go to school for?"

"Until you're 18"
says the father.

The kid nods, and thinks about this quietly.

When they get to the front gates of the school, the kid says
"Dad, you will remember to come and get me when I'm 18, won't you?"



**********


Why did the mystic drown when she fell into the pool?
She never claimed to be clair-buoyant.


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Warning…….


Doctors have discovered that herpes can be
contracted by listening to arseholes

So be very careful around here.