07-02-2021, 07:22 PM
Q: Why do baby diapers have names like "Luvs", "Huggies," and "Pampers,"
while undergarments for old people are called "Depends".
A: When babies crap in their pants, people are still gonna Luv'em, Hug'em and Pamper'em.
When old people crap in their pants it "Depends" on who's in the will!
**********
A cowboy told his grandson the secret to a long life.
He said,
"You gotta sprinkle a little gunpowder on your oatmeal, see.
If you do, you'll live to a nice ripe old age."
So the grandson did this religiously every day, and sure enough,
lived to the nice ripe old age of 96.
When he died he left behind 4 children, 8 grandchildren, 15 great-grandchildren,
...and a 16 foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.
**********
Healthy Insanity For Retirement......
01 At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses and point a hair dryer at passing cars
02 On all your check stubs, write, 'For Marijuana'
03 Skip down the street rather than walk and see how many looks you get
04 Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat - be serious about it
05 Sing along at the opera
06 When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won, I won"
07 When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot while yelling, "Run for your lives! They're loose!"
08 Tell your children over dinner: "Due to the economy, we're going to have to let one of you go"
09 Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.
10 Go to a department store fitting room and yell, "There's no toilet paper in here"
**********
A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for it.
The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license to verify his age.
He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home.
He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home.
"I will have to go home and come back later."
The woman says,
"Unbutton your shirt."
So he opens his shirt revealing curly silver hair.
She says,
"That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me"
and she processed his application.
When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his
experience at the social security office.
Loving wife that she is, she says,
"You should have dropped your pants.
You might have gotten disability too."
while undergarments for old people are called "Depends".
A: When babies crap in their pants, people are still gonna Luv'em, Hug'em and Pamper'em.
When old people crap in their pants it "Depends" on who's in the will!
**********
A cowboy told his grandson the secret to a long life.
He said,
"You gotta sprinkle a little gunpowder on your oatmeal, see.
If you do, you'll live to a nice ripe old age."
So the grandson did this religiously every day, and sure enough,
lived to the nice ripe old age of 96.
When he died he left behind 4 children, 8 grandchildren, 15 great-grandchildren,
...and a 16 foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.
**********
Healthy Insanity For Retirement......
01 At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses and point a hair dryer at passing cars
02 On all your check stubs, write, 'For Marijuana'
03 Skip down the street rather than walk and see how many looks you get
04 Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat - be serious about it
05 Sing along at the opera
06 When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won, I won"
07 When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot while yelling, "Run for your lives! They're loose!"
08 Tell your children over dinner: "Due to the economy, we're going to have to let one of you go"
09 Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.
10 Go to a department store fitting room and yell, "There's no toilet paper in here"
**********
A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for it.
The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license to verify his age.
He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home.
He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home.
"I will have to go home and come back later."
The woman says,
"Unbutton your shirt."
So he opens his shirt revealing curly silver hair.
She says,
"That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me"
and she processed his application.
When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his
experience at the social security office.
Loving wife that she is, she says,
"You should have dropped your pants.
You might have gotten disability too."
Semper Fidelis
![[Image: SyAa0qj.png]](https://i.imgur.com/SyAa0qj.png)
USMC
USMC
Nemo me impune lacessit