“Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?”
a little girl asked.
“No, I don’t think so. Fifi is in heat,”
replied the mother.
“What does that mean?”
asked the child.
Embarrassed and not wanting to get into a biological discussion
with her young daughter, the Mother said,
“Oh, just go ask your father. I think he is in the garage.”
The little girl goes to the garage and says,
“Dad, may I take Fifi for a walk around the block?
I asked Mom, but she said that Fifi was in heat, and
that I had to come talk to you.”
Not wanting to have the biological discussion either, the father said,
“Bring Fifi over here.”
He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog’s rear end with it.
“Okay, now you can go for a walk but keep Fifi on the leash
and you can only go around the block once.”
The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog.
“Where is Fifi?” her father asked.
“She should be here in a minute,”
advised the daughter.
“She ran out of gas about halfway down the block
and another dog is pushing her home.”
**********
Two different doctors
Two patients limp into two different medical clinics with the same complaint.
Both have trouble walking and appear to require a hip replacement.
The FIRST patient is examined by his regular doctor within the hour,
is x-rayed the same day and has a time booked for surgery the following week.
The SECOND sees his regular doctor after waiting 3 weeks for an appointment,
then waits 8 weeks to see a specialist, then gets an x-ray,
which isn't reviewed for another week and finally,
has his surgery scheduled for 6 months from then.
Why the different treatment for the two patients?
The FIRST is a Golden Retriever.
The SECOND is a Senior Citizen.
Ain't that the beautiful truth!!
**********
Three men are sitting on a bench in their fancy retirement community in Florida.
Steve says:
"I started with a men's clothing shop and built the business into the finest department
store in town. One day there was a fire and it destroyed everything.
Since I was too old to begin again, I took the insurance money and retired - and here I am."
Ben says:
"I had a hardware store downtown. It was the finest hardware store in the city.
One Friday evening after closing time a pipe burst and flooded the store.
On Monday morning I came in to discover that my entire inventory had been ruined.
Like you, I was too old to start again, so I took the insurance money and retired down here to Florida."
Billy says:
"I had a pharmacy in the Midwest. I was very successful, and had seven pharmacists
working for me.
However, one night a tornado came and picked up my entire store, utterly destroying it.
I came the next morning and there was no pharmacy there!
I was already a senior citizen so I took the insurance money and moved to Florida."
Steve and Ben look utterly confused.
After a few moments, Ben asks Billy
"Uh...how the hell do you make a tornado?!"
a little girl asked.
“No, I don’t think so. Fifi is in heat,”
replied the mother.
“What does that mean?”
asked the child.
Embarrassed and not wanting to get into a biological discussion
with her young daughter, the Mother said,
“Oh, just go ask your father. I think he is in the garage.”
The little girl goes to the garage and says,
“Dad, may I take Fifi for a walk around the block?
I asked Mom, but she said that Fifi was in heat, and
that I had to come talk to you.”
Not wanting to have the biological discussion either, the father said,
“Bring Fifi over here.”
He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog’s rear end with it.
“Okay, now you can go for a walk but keep Fifi on the leash
and you can only go around the block once.”
The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog.
“Where is Fifi?” her father asked.
“She should be here in a minute,”
advised the daughter.
“She ran out of gas about halfway down the block
and another dog is pushing her home.”
**********
Two different doctors
Two patients limp into two different medical clinics with the same complaint.
Both have trouble walking and appear to require a hip replacement.
The FIRST patient is examined by his regular doctor within the hour,
is x-rayed the same day and has a time booked for surgery the following week.
The SECOND sees his regular doctor after waiting 3 weeks for an appointment,
then waits 8 weeks to see a specialist, then gets an x-ray,
which isn't reviewed for another week and finally,
has his surgery scheduled for 6 months from then.
Why the different treatment for the two patients?
The FIRST is a Golden Retriever.
The SECOND is a Senior Citizen.
Ain't that the beautiful truth!!
**********
Three men are sitting on a bench in their fancy retirement community in Florida.
Steve says:
"I started with a men's clothing shop and built the business into the finest department
store in town. One day there was a fire and it destroyed everything.
Since I was too old to begin again, I took the insurance money and retired - and here I am."
Ben says:
"I had a hardware store downtown. It was the finest hardware store in the city.
One Friday evening after closing time a pipe burst and flooded the store.
On Monday morning I came in to discover that my entire inventory had been ruined.
Like you, I was too old to start again, so I took the insurance money and retired down here to Florida."
Billy says:
"I had a pharmacy in the Midwest. I was very successful, and had seven pharmacists
working for me.
However, one night a tornado came and picked up my entire store, utterly destroying it.
I came the next morning and there was no pharmacy there!
I was already a senior citizen so I took the insurance money and moved to Florida."
Steve and Ben look utterly confused.
After a few moments, Ben asks Billy
"Uh...how the hell do you make a tornado?!"
Semper Fidelis
![[Image: SyAa0qj.png]](https://i.imgur.com/SyAa0qj.png)
USMC
USMC
Nemo me impune lacessit