05-14-2021, 06:39 PM
Why was the limbo dancer shocked when his wallet was stolen right out of his back pocket?
Because he didn’t think anyone could stoop so low.
**********
A music store was robbed last week.
The robbers made off with the lute.
**********
Early in the morning, a wife turns over to find her husband wide awake in bed.
“Are you okay?”
the wife asks.
“I guess,”
he replies.
“I’m asking because you spent the entire night cursing me in your sleep.”
The man replies,
“Who said I was asleep?”
....and then the fight started !
**********
A kid is late for school one day.
“I had to take the bull down to mate with the heifer,”
he explains to the teacher.
“Well, couldn’t your father have done that?”
the teacher asks after class.
“Sure,” the boy replies.
“But the bull would have done a better job.”
**********
Children left alone in the backseat can cause accidents, which is ironic,
considering that accidents in the backseat can cause children.
**********
The abominable snowman gets called all sorts of names,
yeti doesn't seem to mind.
**********
A prospective husband in a book store
“Do you have a book called, ‘Husband – the Master of the House’?
Sales Girl, smiling,:
“Sir, Fiction and Comics are on the 2nd floor.”
**********
Two older ladies. angel and Gertrude are visiting the museum,
and get separated during their tour.
When they finally catch-up with each other, the first old lady says,
“Gertrude, did you see the statue of that naked man back there?”
Gertrude replies,
“Yes, I was absolutely shocked! How can they display such a thing,
especially with his private parts being so large!”
“I know”, says Angel,
“And cold, too!”
**********
Prime Minister Justin Trudeau finally breaks down and visits a remote northern reserve.
The Prime Minister asks the chief if there was anything the people need.
"Well," says the chief,
"We have three very important needs.
First, we have a medical clinic, but no doctor."
Trudeau whips out his phone, dials a number,
talks to somebody for two minutes and then hangs up.
"I've pulled some strings.
Your doctor will arrive in a few days.
"The second problem is that we have no way to get clean water.
The local mining operation has poisoned the water our people have
been drinking for thousands of years. We've been flying bottled water in,
and it's terribly expensive."
Once again, Trudeau dials a number, yells into the phone for a
few minutes, and then hangs up.
"The mine has been shut down, and the owner is being billed
for setting up a purification plant for your people.
Now what was that third problem?"
"We have no cellphone reception up here,"
the chief says.
Because he didn’t think anyone could stoop so low.
**********
A music store was robbed last week.
The robbers made off with the lute.
**********
Early in the morning, a wife turns over to find her husband wide awake in bed.
“Are you okay?”
the wife asks.
“I guess,”
he replies.
“I’m asking because you spent the entire night cursing me in your sleep.”
The man replies,
“Who said I was asleep?”
....and then the fight started !
**********
A kid is late for school one day.
“I had to take the bull down to mate with the heifer,”
he explains to the teacher.
“Well, couldn’t your father have done that?”
the teacher asks after class.
“Sure,” the boy replies.
“But the bull would have done a better job.”
**********
Children left alone in the backseat can cause accidents, which is ironic,
considering that accidents in the backseat can cause children.
**********
The abominable snowman gets called all sorts of names,
yeti doesn't seem to mind.
**********
A prospective husband in a book store
“Do you have a book called, ‘Husband – the Master of the House’?
Sales Girl, smiling,:
“Sir, Fiction and Comics are on the 2nd floor.”
**********
Two older ladies. angel and Gertrude are visiting the museum,
and get separated during their tour.
When they finally catch-up with each other, the first old lady says,
“Gertrude, did you see the statue of that naked man back there?”
Gertrude replies,
“Yes, I was absolutely shocked! How can they display such a thing,
especially with his private parts being so large!”
“I know”, says Angel,
“And cold, too!”
**********
Prime Minister Justin Trudeau finally breaks down and visits a remote northern reserve.
The Prime Minister asks the chief if there was anything the people need.
"Well," says the chief,
"We have three very important needs.
First, we have a medical clinic, but no doctor."
Trudeau whips out his phone, dials a number,
talks to somebody for two minutes and then hangs up.
"I've pulled some strings.
Your doctor will arrive in a few days.
"The second problem is that we have no way to get clean water.
The local mining operation has poisoned the water our people have
been drinking for thousands of years. We've been flying bottled water in,
and it's terribly expensive."
Once again, Trudeau dials a number, yells into the phone for a
few minutes, and then hangs up.
"The mine has been shut down, and the owner is being billed
for setting up a purification plant for your people.
Now what was that third problem?"
"We have no cellphone reception up here,"
the chief says.
Semper Fidelis
![[Image: SyAa0qj.png]](https://i.imgur.com/SyAa0qj.png)
USMC
USMC
Nemo me impune lacessit