04-23-2021, 01:25 PM
A variety show producer is on the look-out for a new act, and one day
he happens upon a country fair when he notices a group of people huddled
around one particular stall.
As he approaches, he sees a chicken dancing up and down on an old ceramic pot.
The audience are obviously enjoying the act, so the producer asks the
man if the chicken is for sale.
After a lot of hard bargaining, they eventually decide on a sum of $2,500 and
the producer goes off happily, with the chicken and the pot safely under his arm.
However, two days later he storms back, furious.
"You double-crossing b*stard!" yells the producer.
"You tricked me, that chicken hasn't danced a step since I bought him."
"Mmm," mused the man, thoughtfully.
"Did you light the candle under the pot?"
**********
A man is feeling poorly, so he goes to his doctor.
After numerous tests the doc says, “I’m sorry, but you have an incurable condition
and there is nothing more I can do for you.”
The man pleads with the doctor to suggest anything he might do to improve
his condition, and the doctor then suggests that he go to the spa
and take a daily mud bath.
“Is there any hope of a cure?”
the man asks.
“No,” says the doctor,
“but it will help you get used to dirt.”
**********
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother was putting cold cream on her face.
"Why are you rubbing that cream on you face, mummy?"
he asked.
"To stay pretty for daddy,"
said his mother.
A few minutes later, she began removing the cream with a tissue.
"What's the matter mummy?"
asked Little Johnny.
"Giving up?"
**********
I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labor and
the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me,
"Congratulations sir, you’re the new father of twins!"
The man replied,
"How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company."
The man then followed the woman to his wife’s room.
About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and
announced that Mr. Smith’s wife has just had triplets.
Mr. Smith stood up and said,
"Well, how do ya like that, I work for the 3M Company."
The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up and started to leave.
When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked,
"I think I need a breath of fresh air."
The man continued,
"I work for 7-UP."
Reckon they are all happy
they didn't work for the 7 - 11
he happens upon a country fair when he notices a group of people huddled
around one particular stall.
As he approaches, he sees a chicken dancing up and down on an old ceramic pot.
The audience are obviously enjoying the act, so the producer asks the
man if the chicken is for sale.
After a lot of hard bargaining, they eventually decide on a sum of $2,500 and
the producer goes off happily, with the chicken and the pot safely under his arm.
However, two days later he storms back, furious.
"You double-crossing b*stard!" yells the producer.
"You tricked me, that chicken hasn't danced a step since I bought him."
"Mmm," mused the man, thoughtfully.
"Did you light the candle under the pot?"
**********
A man is feeling poorly, so he goes to his doctor.
After numerous tests the doc says, “I’m sorry, but you have an incurable condition
and there is nothing more I can do for you.”
The man pleads with the doctor to suggest anything he might do to improve
his condition, and the doctor then suggests that he go to the spa
and take a daily mud bath.
“Is there any hope of a cure?”
the man asks.
“No,” says the doctor,
“but it will help you get used to dirt.”
**********
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother was putting cold cream on her face.
"Why are you rubbing that cream on you face, mummy?"
he asked.
"To stay pretty for daddy,"
said his mother.
A few minutes later, she began removing the cream with a tissue.
"What's the matter mummy?"
asked Little Johnny.
"Giving up?"
**********
I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labor and
the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me,
"Congratulations sir, you’re the new father of twins!"
The man replied,
"How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company."
The man then followed the woman to his wife’s room.
About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and
announced that Mr. Smith’s wife has just had triplets.
Mr. Smith stood up and said,
"Well, how do ya like that, I work for the 3M Company."
The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up and started to leave.
When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked,
"I think I need a breath of fresh air."
The man continued,
"I work for 7-UP."
Reckon they are all happy
they didn't work for the 7 - 11
Semper Fidelis
![[Image: SyAa0qj.png]](https://i.imgur.com/SyAa0qj.png)
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Nemo me impune lacessit