Humorous Smilies

[IceWizard]

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A hunter walking through the jungle, found a huge, dead dinosaur,
with a pigmy standing beside it.

Amazed, he asked "Did you kill that?"

"Yes" said the pigmy.

The hunter asked "How could a little guy like you kill a huge beast like that?"

The pigmy said "I killed it with my club".

"Dang! How big is your club?" asked the astonished hunter.

"There are about two hundred of us" said the pigmy.


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This couple was driving down the Hwy when the GF started having cramps.

She told her Guy friend that she needed to stop because her stomach

was really rolling. Being a fairly large girl, she knew she had to act fast.



He said that he was in a big hurry to get to Houston and she could

just get in the back seat and hang her tail out of the window.



Not being in the best condition to argue, she crawled in the back

and proceeded to get in position to relieve the cramps.



As she was pulling down her skivies, he was trying his best to see

all that he could and almost ran off the road and hit two hitchhikers!



He jerked the car back into the lane, just in time.



My buddy hollered and said, "Man, did you get

any of that tobacco juice on you?!"



I said, "Yes I did! But did you get a look at those lips

that was spittin it out!?!"


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Diagnosis Explained

A 90-year-old man goes for a physical and all
of his tests come back normal.

The doctor says, “Larry, everything looks great.
How are you doing mentally and emotionally?
Are you at peace with God?”

Larry replies, “God and I are tight.
He knows I have poor eyesight, so
He’s fixed it so when I get up in the
middle of the night to go to the bathroom,
poof! The light goes on. When I’m done,
poof! The light goes off.”

“Wow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry’s wife.

“Bonnie,” he says, “Larry is doing fine!
But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his
relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up
during the night, and poof, the light goes on
in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof,
the light goes off?”

“Oh sweet Jesus”, exclaims Bonnie.
“He’s peeing in the refrigerator again!”