IOPList.Org
Humorous Smilies - Printable Version

+- IOPList.Org (https://www.ioplist.org)
+-- Forum: Off Topic (https://www.ioplist.org/forumdisplay.php?fid=25)
+--- Forum: The Lounge (https://www.ioplist.org/forumdisplay.php?fid=26)
+--- Thread: Humorous Smilies (/showthread.php?tid=319)

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360 361 362 363 364 365 366 367 368 369 370 371 372 373 374 375 376 377 378 379 380 381 382 383 384 385 386 387 388 389 390 391 392 393 394 395 396 397 398 399 400 401 402 403 404 405 406 407 408 409 410 411 412 413 414 415 416 417 418 419 420 421 422 423 424 425 426 427 428 429 430 431 432 433 434 435 436 437 438 439 440 441 442 443 444 445 446 447 448 449 450 451 452 453 454 455 456 457 458 459 460 461 462 463 464 465 466 467 468 469 470 471 472 473 474 475 476 477 478 479 480 481 482 483 484 485 486 487 488 489 490 491 492 493 494

RE: Humorous Smilies - Popster - 05-05-2016

Wiilie.......we all have funny posts on this thread.....but your top dogSmile

RE: Humorous Smilies - Linville - 05-06-2016

Keep em' coming willie !   Tongue   Big Grin   Cool  

[Image: joke.jpg]
[Image: da%2Bhood.png]


Eat popcorn one way and the other way.....?????

RE: Humorous Smilies - Linville - 05-07-2016

[Image: tumblr_o6rff2cyA01urmckio1_1280.gif]

RE: Humorous Smilies - willie33 - 05-07-2016

Funny, Linville! Smile

[Image: funny-animals-27.jpg]

[Image: funny-animals-67.jpg]

[Image: funny-animals-175.jpg]

[Image: funny-animals-46.jpg]

[Image: funny-animals-66.jpg]

[Image: funny-animals-96.jpg]

[Image: funny-animals-106.jpg]

RE: Humorous Smilies - TamDee - 05-09-2016

   

RE: Humorous Smilies - Linville - 05-11-2016

[Image: tumblr_o6zp2qJ5K51tbjehto1_1280.jpg]

RE: Humorous Smilies - IceWizard - 05-11-2016

Can Anybody Relate?

While conducting some business at the Courthouse, I overheard a lady, who had been arrested for assaulting a mammogram Technician, say, "Your Honor, I'm guilty but.....there were extenuating circumstances."

The female Judge said, sarcastically, "I'd certainly like to hear those extenuating circumstances."

I did too, sooo I listened as the lady told her story.

"Your Honor, I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually kept. I was met by this perky little clipboard carrier smiling from ear to ear and she tilted her head to one side and crooned, "Hi! I'm Belinda! All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown. Everything clear?"

I'm thinking, "Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science."

Belinda then skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors. With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?"

Fine, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck to finish me off?

My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when I heard and felt a zap!

Complete darkness, the power was off!

Belinda said, "Uh-oh, maintenance is working, bet they hit a snag."

Then she headed for the door.

"Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?" I shouted.

Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy...the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back."

Before I could shout NOOOO! She disappeared. And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, Maintenance Men Extraordinaire" found me.. half-naked with part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between glass!

After exchanging a polite Hi, how's it going type greeting, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.

Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible, "Uh, yes, I did but thanks anyway."

"OK, you take care now" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.

Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin.

Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, "Oh I am sooo sorry! The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?"

And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps...."

The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said "Case Dismissed".


About your Diet

Here's the final word on nutrition and health.

It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies.

DIETS AND DYING

1) The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

2) The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.



3) The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

4) The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

5) The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

CONCLUSION:

Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

RE: Humorous Smilies - TamDee - 05-13-2016

Re-visit Willies May 5th posts if you're having a crappy day.  I've been back at least 5 times and they haven't let me down yet.   Smile

RE: Humorous Smilies - Linville - 05-13-2016

Now mind you this could go either way male female , it is just funny.



[Image: doc-are-you-using-any-other-birth-contro...452074.png]
[Image: 2016%2B-%2B1]

RE: Humorous Smilies - willie33 - 05-13-2016

[Image: funny-animal-pictures-113.jpg]

[Image: funny-animal-pictures-172.jpg]

[Image: funny-animals-210.jpg]

[Image: funny-animals-910.jpg]

[Image: funny-animals-213.jpg]

[Image: 142.jpg]