Okay ... I was just flippin through the ole
news when they started talking about Kamala's
Guatemalan visit.... And I lost control ...
Again ... This is what resonated in my
warped head ....
I just cannot control myself into NOT making these



Where have I heard this before

I was kidnapped by mad scientist who experimented on me,
replacing my limbs with animal ones.

If I ever see him again I'll tear him apart
with my bear hands.


*****

What is the difference between CNN and the Titanic?
The Titanic still had all it's anchors when it sank...

*****

If you are driving really fast and
suddenly you see your wife and
your mother in law in front of you,
what will you hit first?
Brakes...... The brakes.

*****

Before the Bronze Age...
people who came in third place
were just called losers.

*****

An Irishman walks out of a bar.
Nah, just kidding

*****

The guy who stole my calendar finally got caught …
He got twelve months

*****

I've been trying to kick my roommates out for months now.
But they keep insisting that I call them my parents.

*****

A gal walks into a bar and orders a beer.

"What have you been up to today?"
the bartender asks.

"Funny you should ask. My horoscope said that
my ex would pop up today," the gal says.
"I've been down at the river all day, and luckily,
no sign of him so far."

*****

A little boy on a park bench was scoffing candy bars.

An old man approached and said
“Hey son, you know this isn’t good for you?”

The boy replied,
“What do you know?
My grandad lived to be 105!”

The man said
“And did he eat candy bars like this?”

“No.” The boy replied,
“He minded his own dang business.”

Ricky Gervais at the Golden Globes 2020
All of his bits chained





The Soundtracks in these are hilarious


Señor Jake should smile more when he dances
il Donaldo Trumpo







I love that sneaky little cat
il Donaldo Trumpo







Its so nice AOC brought graphics to her presentation
il Donaldo Trumpo