Abe & Edna....

Marrying Young

At the ripe old age of 77, grandpa Abe had decided to marry a young girl of 20.
Grandpa's doctor tried to explain that at his age sex with a young girl could
be dangerous, even fatal.

Grandpa, not the slightest bit perturbed replied,
"Oh well, if she dies, I'll just get myself another one."

**********

Elderly Wedding

Two elderly folks in a nursing home wanted to get married.
Their doctor took each one into his office separately to try and talk them out of it.

He called in the woman and told her that the man
had already suffered two heart attacks.
She told the doctor that she didn't care.

The doctor called in the man and told him the woman
was suffering from acute angina.

"I know!" he said. "I peeked."


**********


Old Abe, a 92 year old senior, grabbed his telephone,
and started pressing numbers.


Abe
*calls 911* Hello? I need your help!

911:
Alright, What is it?

Abe:
Two women are fighting over me!

911:
So what's your emergency?

Abe:
The ugly one is winning.

**********

Lena:
I’m so proud of my two boys.

They became pilots.

The other guys haul the cow manure out of the barn
and my boys pile it.


**********


































Now this will work sometimes

Menopause Rhapsody 
Bohemian Rhapsody Parody Song
for every Queen








Pee Wee Herman
Tequila

You're In My Chair 
Grumpy Cats Singing Covid Song parody







VACCINE!
(A Jolene Parody)







Funny Signs
By The Legendary Tex-Mex Restaurant
El Arroyo

Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.

The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.

You feel like the night after, and you haven't been anywhere.

Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.

You get winded playing chess.

Your children begin to look middle aged.

You're still chasing women but can't remember why.

A dripping faucet causes an uncontrollable bladder urge.

You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.

You look forward to a dull evening.

You walk with your head high trying to get used to your bifocals.

Your favorite part of the newspaper is "25 Years Ago Today..."

You turn out the light for economic reasons rather than romantic ones.

You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.

Your knees buckle and your belt won't.

You regret all those mistakes resisting temptation.

After painting the town red, you have to take a long rest before applying a second coat.

Dialing long distance wears you out.

You're startled the first time you are addressed as an old timer.

You just can't stand people who are intolerant.

You burn the midnight oil until 9 PM.

Your back goes out more often than you do.

Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you watch a pretty girl go by.

The little grey haired lady you help across the street is your wife.

You have too much room in the house and not enough room in the medicine cabinet.

You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.